Summertime Fun

Jun 26, 2019

Summertime fun is right around the corner. We talk about my buddy Jeff Fremed and his new goal in life of becoming a Voice Actor and I tell some silly stories of his vocal range and magicianship. A general life update and some fun random banter.

Transcription of ‘Summertime Fun’ by Otter.ai

Hey everybody and welcome to UNHINGED with me, Steve Lichtman, In case you forgot…

I’m still alive still here still kicking still rockin and rollin man and, and well, I’ve just just been doing my thing I mean to be honest, as much as I enjoy doing the podcast and as much as I love putting the time in and doing this I’ve just been busy in life as it’s been. I mean, it’s been like that for the second half of the school year, a lot of volunteering, a lot of energy being put into the school into the kids into the classroom. You know, we had another class parent that pretty much know showed the whole year so that kind of killed that. And you know, Kimberly, my wife has been handling all the background scenes and paperwork and collecting of things and getting things set up for every every single event for the kids. So it’s frickin awesome. coordinating all the people. me being me, the dancing monkey I show up and do do what I do.

Best jump around, make the kids wild and, and high fives and you know, be the politician of the family shaking hands and kissing babies and, and making good things happen. So it’s, it’s been busy but we have one and a half days left. Just barely over one day left because tomorrow at 11 which would be in an hour and 20 minutes. It’s 940 in the morning on Tuesday.

So yeah in it in 25 hours and 20 minutes. The summer time fun is here. And you know, hey, that’s that’s why we take them to school right? So you do school your long so you can have a good summer so The wife takes off her vacation days in summer. You know, I’m Camp Steve. So welcome to Camp Steve. I will be your director for this a wonderful summer, as we will be doing many exciting things that include ice skating. Obviously, she’ll be continuing her Campo training at the red

Dragon martial arts studio in beautiful South Bellmore, New York on Merrick road, you can ask Chris sensei Christopher bagel, a seventh degree black belt and American Campo direct from the ED Parker line and he will be more than happy to have your child get the discipline and education here. She needs to become a tremendous martial artist. It is not like your typical Taekwondo toilets, as I call them nowadays, where kids are doing ridiculous bullshit. Essentially, it is karate dance, and they are, you know, in a real world environment because getting their ass kicked. And that doesn’t work for me in 2019. Our kids, especially our daughters, need to protect themselves from the sickos that are out there. I am thoroughly happy knowing that by the time the time I was on her own age, you know a teenage girl what have you and she’ll

Be places on her own, that she will have a decade of knowledge instilled upon her from Mr. babble and his wonderful team of instructors to beat the living shit out of absolutely anything that crosses her path. And since she’s a big girl, it’s not going to be fun for anybody who wants to get in her way. I truly feel sorry for whoever her first boyfriend is down the road. Because one of these boys is going to end up with a broken jaw one day, and well you know, what are you going to do? That’s life, right? That’s, that’s how it works. Don’t make women angry and you’ll be safe in life. You don’t have to worry about Daddy, you’ll have to worry about the little killing machine that we’re that we’re raising. But that’s one of many summertime fun activities. So we’ll be ice skating at the town Park. They’ve got a beautiful indoor ice skating rink and what a great way to beat the heat and she’s got one of her best friends going with her down to that so they’re going to be having an amazing time every week. We’re going to be going to Hershey and go on a vacation out there for a week and doing all that idea. The beautiful

Hershey hotel so we don’t have to drive or lift a finger once we arrive, which is always nice. And one thing I’m learning as I get older, sometimes you go to these off the beaten path places because you might save a couple bucks. Or you might like that it’s it’s not around everything if you’re me, I hate being around tons and tons of people. So if we can be three miles to the left, I’m always cool that no matter what it is, I’m happy to pay more to be further away from folks. But the inconvenience of it does become a bit of a pain in the ass. So to go to a hotel that has the buses and and all the amenities that make your life just effortless. It’s kind of cool. I mean, it’s I’m coming around to it you know by my buddy Dante tells me all the time he’s like, you just got to stay at the hotel Steve. You got to stay at the fucking Hershey hotel with me guy. And you know he’s right. He’s absolutely right. And we’re going to be that with him this summer so will be that will be hanging out. I should do a podcast with him. That would be fucking hilarious because he is just as off the charts as I

So it would be amazing. Yeah. So this podcast I am doing 100% solely because of you, Jeff with the good voice. So for all of you that don’t know, one of my best friends that I grew up with, in Oceanside as a kid, his name is Jeff remedy. And you can go to his website at Jeff remedy com. He first let’s paint a picture. You know, he worked in the printing industry for a while how he delivered newspapers when we were a kid. You know, we could talk about some great stories like the lady, but we don’t have to do that today. We could talk about the tip lady another time. Or maybe Jeff, you can come on to the show one day and talk about the tit lady yourself. Or the day that we smashed a burning bag of poop on her front lawn. On the stoop. There are the pools that we jumped into that people weren’t home when they were on vacation, or all the other wonderfully horrible things we did as children of the 80s that by today’s standards with absolutely get us arrested, but

Back then they would just say I You stupid kids, and shake their fists at the sky and and just accept that kids were kids and we weren’t criminals. We weren’t. I mean, granted, you could call it criminal trespassing, but nobody was damaging or stealing or doing any of those kind of things. We would mostly just go into people’s backyards and hang out or go in the woods or the creeks or what have you. But yeah, so. So it started way back when when he was delivering papers as a young boy on his bicycle. And then it transpired to him working at a print factory in town for somebody who ended up being his next door neighbor at one point. I don’t remember if that’s how the job started. Even I worked at the print factory there for a little bit. I think I did a summer I don’t remember what it was. I didn’t last long. Jeff definitely outlasted me. And then he, he had some other jobs. He had some it jobs and then he ended up moving to Florida, in the St. Augustine region, where he had taken up a good position with wounded warriors, which we all know is the absolutely awesome charity that is helping

The the wonderful men and women that are service people to our country that protect our freedoms, and come back needing help. And he helps them by, you know, doing all this smoothness of the IT world there. So there’s a lot of technology involved in this. Whether it’s setting up events, whether it’s just the office itself and making the whole machine run, I mean, how look at this day and age, if you don’t have the technology straight in 2019 your business ain’t doing a goddamn thing. So he is helping that run and be smooth and, and just be great. And, you know, the bottom line is this. If you look back 3040 years ago, we were making prank calls to our Felton Hoff which only Jeff will know the name of this guy. He was his ball dad across the street from my parents house. And whenever my parents would go out to dinner or go to a movie, Jeff would come over and we’d just go through the phone book old school style like the jerky boys, and we’d prank call people and we would not stop. We just we were assholes. We would just pray.

Every every stupid name in the phone book got a call from us at some point to the point that I believe I kept the phone book that we had marked up with the ones that we had called. So one day we’re calling out belting off up, and we’re prank calling and we’re calling him a bald fuck and we’re laughing in the phone. And he knows he sees no car in the driveway across the street but the lights are on. He comes banging on the door. He’s banging on my parents front door, you fucking kids. What are you doing yo stupid kids. Just like a Twisted Sister video right when the principal’s yelling and screaming and banging his fist on the wall. Pretty much I was doing the same thing and don’t get me wrong. I was a good guy. He had a bunch of kids that were older than us in the neighborhood. I didn’t know his kids. I don’t even remember his kids or any of the names. I do remember one actually mark it was an oldest son mark and he carried me one time right around the block past Jeff’s house into Ryan’s house. And it carried me there and a blizzard one time and that was badass. That and but he was like a decade older and you know he was the guy with like the mullet and the muscle car in the street. When

We were just little kids riding a bike so I don’t really remember him other than that one epic act that he had done for me that time. That’s all I know about Mark Felton house. He could be a murderer right now, and my only memory would still be that of the NIce dude that took me to Ryan so you know, it is what it is. So we prank prank and prank and I was banging on the door. You fucking cares. What are you going? you sons of bitches. I know you’re in there. And then I don’t know if it was Jeff or if it was me. I don’t remember. You know, I would need you Jeff to come on and kind of say your side is but somebody said there’s nobody home you’re bald fuck. And

he has lost his shit, man. We never opened the door. We sat behind the door, cackling a laughter and half halfway probably scared shiftless of that we’re going to get in big trouble.

I remember getting yelled at the next day by my dad. He was pissed off. He was like, What are you doing Brian calling people and I was like, yeah, you know, hey, we could be doing worse things.

And I guess he kind of agree. I mean, I don’t remember getting in any trouble for that. I don’t know if it ended up going back to Jeff’s house and his parents, we could ask his his mom and dad, they’re still around kicking it down in Florida with him. So we can maybe bring Sandy and Larry on the podcast with us cap. That would be amazing. They could talk about how What an asshole I was a kid, and how my parents blamed you for everything and yours, blame me. So you know, we always got blamed for everything together, which was amazing. That’s what friendship is when you’re a kid, right? It’s, you take the heat for one another, and you just have some fun. In today’s day and age. Yeah, gosh, we’d have probably seen so many psychologists. It wouldn’t have even been funny. It would have been absolutely absurd. The amount of trouble we would have been in by by the 2019 standard of like my daughter’s Elementary School. Holy shit. I mean,

yeah, it would have been crazy. So let’s keep going. Alright, so so at the end of this rainbow, and I’ll stop about you, Jeff. So you don’t feel like I’m sitting here jerking you off on the podcast for five minutes, which you know

I’m happy to do. So we come full circle, years of prank calls, being silly kids doing what we do, making voices being goofy, loving the jerky boys, if everybody remembers them from when you were a kid that you know being New York kids, and that was a New York thing. We love that we took on to that like nobody’s business. So now you got Jeff remedy.com. And that is Jeff with the good voice. And he is doing voice acting now and he’s absolutely slaying it man. He is got a beautiful reel on his website. He has got demo tapes, he’s got projects he’s already working on that he can’t even tell me about which frustrates me to no end. So that means it’s something you signed a contract with an NDA on which makes me super happy because that means it’s actually good, right? Because that’s always the deal if it’s something that just whatever nobody cares and you can just tell everybody I’m working on such and such project is a desperate for the marketing, the fact that he can’t tell anybody, even his friends that

He knows would never say a goddamn thing. That’s pretty awesome. So we’ll see what comes from that and what the future holds. But, you know, check out his voice acting, and maybe just maybe he will grace his presence here one day with I. Or maybe I will go to his podcast that beauty and the beast mode that he’s in the middle of revamping because it went from a two man show to a one or which I’ve said in the past, maybe Jeff.

We joined forces and create the most epic podcast of all time. Jeff in Steve take over the internet, or Stephen Jeff take over the internet or whatever the hell you want to call it. I don’t care. I have no ego in it. I’m so goddamn loud. It doesn’t make a difference. Either of our names is between the two of us man. I think that we would have absolute fire and we wouldn’t be solo printers here both doing our own thing. But we can be like a wonderful tag team.

Like when you injector attacked me on the front lawn of my house and and like the earthquake and typhoon sandwich to me and threw me into the bushes like garbage, or like the day when you came was it you were tired I remember when you came crashing through the screen door, the plastic screen door Plexiglas, whatever at my parents house to come attack me because I had called you fat or something horrible and you wanted to kick my ass because you were three times my size. You know, all good. And we got a million stories that can be hilarious for people that I think they’d have a good time enjoying, but I would probably never share them in depth alone because it would be boring. You know, it’s just me recounting things that I’m not 100% of part of maybe I’m half of the part you know when it’s when it’s stories like the I have diarrhea guy and oh my word folks if if I didn’t tell you that Yeah, I did an entire as you all know, I did an entire podcast about the person that told me

had diarrhea. And I truly, truly, truly thought I would never ever, ever, as Chris Jericho says, experienced this in my life again. But I did two weeks ago while working one of the clients, I’ll never name him because he’s a wonderful man and I just wouldn’t want to put anybody out there by name because that’s just not appropriate, not for work. And one of the people I work with that was coaching, and he he didn’t say it,

but he killed the just it was there, man it was, gosh, how do I describe this? He said it without saying it.

That’s the best way to put it. He said it without uttering the exact words. I have diarrhea, I must go. He had diarrhea and he had to go. So we had a phone call that was scheduled weeks in advance and he was there.

And, you know, he had told me how he hadn’t done his side of things since our last call because he had been sick. So that happens. Listen life, man, shit happens to all of us. You know, people get sick people’s houses flood and we had a client whose house flooded so he had to move, you know, to a temporary location. So you know, he push a call things happen, man, that’s life. That’s work. But he didn’t have anything done. So we were kind of in an impasse anyway. And he’s like, he’s like, I have to go right now. It’s, uh, yeah, I need to leave by. We’ll reschedule and he was gone. So it didn’t sound like he was getting gagging and vomiting. So I’m getting guests it was from the other end. I can’t confirm or deny 100% accuracy of this tale since I wasn’t there with the gentleman in question. But just from being on the other side of it before. I have that uncanny experience of people telling me they, Maria, and that’s a skill I wish they had on LinkedIn that I could get people to click on that

area whisperer. That would be frickin amazing but yeah so so it happened again folks and that’s it it’s not going to be a whole story it’s not going to be anything we’re still here talking about summertime fun and and things to do this summer. So yeah what else we’re going to do this summer it’s going to keep rocking and rolling so we’re we’re also you know my my main kid he goes to speech therapy to help as you know I have a speech impediment I’ve had one my entire life I went until in third grade when they stopped and my daughter has been going and it’s not bad she just sometimes it sounds a little bit like a baby voice that’s all but she’s her listen to it. We tested her IQ recently the school did with a full battery test as as they do. And her scoring was phenomenal we were beyond excited the market to say numbers because I’m not about that. But we were just very happy for how well she did so we know that she’s of sound mind and that it’s just a matter of connecting some of the dots and you know, crossing T’s and dotting i’s and all that to to get some of the sounds

Accurate for whatever reason they they never came out right from the start. So we’re kind of retro fixing this. And we’ll be going to speech therapy all summer, right by my wife’s employment so we’ll be able to visit her once a week at work, which will be nice. And then from there, we’re going to be going to the Guitar Center, where she’s beginning her guitar lessons. She has a electric green Jackson, Flying V Randy Rhoads edition three quarter scale guitar. That is just the most bitchin guitar you’ve ever seen for a seven year old. And he’s going to show up to her first lesson, as she said in her own words, in her Iron Maiden t shirt, asking the instructor to teach her how to rock. So, yeah, we’ll wait and see how that works out people. I mean, if, if her dedication is anything like it is to when she practices her dance moves for dance, or her karate or anything else that she’s into

Well, maybe we’ll have a concert one of these days or maybe I’ll have her make my intro since I never actually made an official intro of any kind, you know, maybe I will make an intro or if there’s a new show with somebody that I may know from the past president future, Mr. For

then maybe she will make an intro for that down the road who knows anything’s possible in this world. So yeah, you know, that’s, that’s it, man. I mean, other than that, it’s just going to be Campsie. We’re going to go to the beach sometimes chill out of the boardwalk. She likes to get ISIS or ice creams from the girls to push the carts around. She likes to be able to just walk the boardwalk in and grab an ice cream and just look at the ocean and chill out for a little bit. She’s got some she’s got a book she’s working on. She came up with something called secret agent cats. So yeah, I own that domain now so don’t bother trying to domain harvest me your sons of bitches. I already got it. So she’s gonna you know, be able to

To make her her literary dreams come true being a I don’t know what this kid sounds like a karate karate rock guitar book author, veterinarian vegetarian at this point. So yeah, that’s that’s the one other thing. So we’ll talk about this and this is what I’ll end up with. So, leading into summertime fun month ago, they’re raising quail, baby quail eggs and an incubator in the first grade classroom. And Hang on, I gotta take a drink here because I’ve been sick all last weekend. And I’m dying right now. So let me I’m not going to pause. I’m just going to take a sip here.

Oh, that’s just what the doctor ordered. All right, I’m better. So they have quail eggs growing into the little tiny baby quail.

And to pop they get to the hatch, beautiful, awesome, cute little baby cow. And then the teacher tells the classroom

Kids, guess what? People eat quail and they’re delicious. I don’t know if that’s the exact words I wasn’t in the room. But I do know that my daughter and one of her best friends looked at each other for as I was told many many times exactly quote for exactly three seconds daddy and then they declared vegetarianism together. Now the other little girl is completely crashed and burned that had hotdogs and kicking this weekend for her father that I you know, we talked to in text, whatever so, you know, he told me that as you know, so that didn’t last year, the meatball hero with Alyssa last week in school, so her vegetarian is up and then fly is as high as you thought it would. Alyssa is, on the other hand has been rock solid. We are one month in now just about maybe a couple days short of a month. And she asked me to join her. And the first couple of days I just kept doing my thing. And then a couple you know, three days later, four days later, I was because you know, she kept asking me and I was like you know what, man? It ain’t gonna kill me.

right there’s a whole lot of other things that will kill me before eating vegetables. So yeah, I did it I’m all in. So you know just like a ew I’m all in and yeah I’m I’m doing it with her now. I made hummus yesterday posting comments pictures on Facebook This is what my life has become. Jesus Christ fucking cute me now. But yeah, so we were all doing it My wife is almost doing it she’s going pesky Attarian so that means that you can still eat fish. So her dreams of shrimp and lobster and crabs and whatnot are are still going strong. She’ll be eating all that. But myself and Alyssa we are only eating vegetarian now which has been interesting, not only for her school lunches, because it means we got to think outside the box. But I for me not to become a fat fuck by eating carbs all day. So one of the things he noticed or at least I’ve noticed over the years, is when most of my friends and people I know and just people I see any internet or whatever

Talking about being vegetarians. They usually you know pretty sloppy looking I mean let’s call a spade a spade that not all you know pro wrestler looking like Daniel Bryan who’s hitting the gym for six hours a day and you know promoting being a vegetarian you know that’s that’s not the the usual of what you see typically you see like our buddy Ryan who has been a vegetarian for 25 years and you know, I think it just means that he eats a lot of pasta you know, and if you get a pasta belly after a while too much carbs it’s it’s a carb loaded diet for way too many people missing out on vegetarian doesn’t mean anti meat Eat shit. It means eat a plant based diet. So I switched my morning protein shake to a plant based one which was no big deal. And it’s a little less protein than the old one But yeah, I could just add an extra scoop and ain’t gonna kill anybody. Just made with P isolate proteins and whatnot. Very little soy. Know Another thing is that

Not to eat a ton of soy it’s not as good for us people think at least I don’t believe it is. So I keep away from the soy, you know, a little tofu here and there’s all right. But to eat soy and everything that doesn’t work for me, you know, carb bonds are beans, avocados. artichokes is so many other good fresh vegetables and things that you can incorporate. And we’ve been eating things like making them at home on the griddle like Cassidy is

nice pastas that have that have more bite to it. We did like make fun noodles with tofu, and lots of different things. So at least we’re not, you know, eating just like sludge every day, which is what I know what I pictured from the very beginning was oh my god, I’m going to do this with her. And I’m just going to eat like a bowl of porridge from Oliver every day. May I please have more? I don’t want to do that man. I’d rather just I’d rather just not do it then. And I’m not gonna lie there. So you know I had somebody said to me the other day well, you can just go in and go and eat a burger for lunch when she’s in school or something.

Yeah man, I could would only take a couple minutes I could just go down the block and go to smash burger or go to Nathan’s or go to whatever burger fi you know so many great burger joints out there but if I did that what does that tell my kid if she ever found out you know that daddy told you that he was going to do something with you then he just straight up fucking lied to you and did what was best for him anyway. That’s not me. You know I my integrity is too strong for that. So I give him my word. My Word is my bond so it’s that’s something I do with him my personal life that’s what my work life that’s what everything I do. I mean, I’m, you know, I’m very transparent to a fault probably probably scares people off that could potentially be friends. But you know, if they’re if they’re too scared, well, then so be it. But I don’t hide the way I think about things. I don’t think that’s fair. That’s why you had those ghetto monkey episodes because you know, you had to know exactly what I thought about my neighbors.

As far as they’re concerned, who cares? Let them have their summer away from me. That’s all that matters. I haven’t spoken to them since the wife some of the events for the school that I do. I don’t care treated like everybody else. Hell, I held the door for her one day because that’s what a true man does. You know, ladies there you hold the door. I don’t care how much I can’t stand somebody. Because I think they’re stupid. I’m just not going to take away from my own integrity to try to create drama or problems. So I held the door. I think she said thank you. I didn’t I wasn’t paying attention or listening anyway, didn’t care. Just held it because that’s the right thing to do and went about my day, zero interactions with them and there will be zero interactions moving forward and forevermore. I see no reason to ever interact with them. And yeah, so if you’re wondering for an update there, there you go. That’s a great transition from vegetarianism to monkey ism.

So, that’s really it, man. Well, listen, I’ve been going way, way longer. I thought this was going to be five or 10 minutes because I felt like I had no material. I had nothing written down. But yeah, so here we are 26 2026 minutes later. And and that’s that. So like always listen, here’s what you could do, you could go check out the website, unhinged pod calm. All the old episodes are up there, this episode will be up there, you know, sometime in the next day or so it’s busy couple of days with the last days of school coming. So I’m going to try to get this podcast up in the next half hour onto the old internet. So it’ll be up there. It’s 1005 now so hopefully by 11 or so I’ll have this up for you guys to listen to. And that’ll be up. You can follow me online and I am Lichtman.com everywhere on the internet. That’s where I am Instagram, Facebook, or

what have you Twitter, which I honestly I don’t really use. I like Instagram. I like posting pictures when I have time and I like commenting on them. So if you if you want to DM me or bullshit that’s probably the best place to get me anyway. Or you can email me through the website that’s that, you know, you can always send me a message to there and I get that. So yeah, that’s it folks. I’ve got nothing else. I’ve

Then go to my buddies website Jeff with a good voice at Jeff remix.com so do me a favor go there everybody every single one of you that listen to this please just go there for even for one minute low two or three pages, get his websites some hits so that way Google’s algorithms will see it and they will help rank it and get it where it needs to be. That’s People Power man we got it so what we do for each other right we help each other out we help people see things and start things in their life. So I’m going to do an advertisement every single podcast for the foreseeable future until the son of a bitch either comes on mine or I go on his or like what I would ideally like to shut this one down. You know, even if it’s not forever Even if it’s just something temporary that we pause this he pauses his and then just like the like the Wonder Twins, we connect our rings him – we create a super podcast of two wild and crazy guys.

All right folks have a happy today and a wonderful tomorrow. As my buddy Ryan says Love & lizards baby love and lizards.

Summertime fun is right around the corner. We talk about my buddy Jeff Fremed and his new goal in life of becoming a Voice Actor and I tell some silly stories of his vocal range and magicianship. A general life update and some fun random banter.

Transcription of ‘Summertime Fun’ by Otter.ai

Hey everybody and welcome to UNHINGED with me, Steve Lichtman, In case you forgot…

I’m still alive still here still kicking still rockin and rollin man and, and well, I’ve just just been doing my thing I mean to be honest, as much as I enjoy doing the podcast and as much as I love putting the time in and doing this I’ve just been busy in life as it’s been. I mean, it’s been like that for the second half of the school year, a lot of volunteering, a lot of energy being put into the school into the kids into the classroom. You know, we had another class parent that pretty much know showed the whole year so that kind of killed that. And you know, Kimberly, my wife has been handling all the background scenes and paperwork and collecting of things and getting things set up for every every single event for the kids. So it’s frickin awesome. coordinating all the people. me being me, the dancing monkey I show up and do do what I do.

Best jump around, make the kids wild and, and high fives and you know, be the politician of the family shaking hands and kissing babies and, and making good things happen. So it’s, it’s been busy but we have one and a half days left. Just barely over one day left because tomorrow at 11 which would be in an hour and 20 minutes. It’s 940 in the morning on Tuesday.

So yeah in it in 25 hours and 20 minutes. The summer time fun is here. And you know, hey, that’s that’s why we take them to school right? So you do school your long so you can have a good summer so The wife takes off her vacation days in summer. You know, I’m Camp Steve. So welcome to Camp Steve. I will be your director for this a wonderful summer, as we will be doing many exciting things that include ice skating. Obviously, she’ll be continuing her Campo training at the red

Dragon martial arts studio in beautiful South Bellmore, New York on Merrick road, you can ask Chris sensei Christopher bagel, a seventh degree black belt and American Campo direct from the ED Parker line and he will be more than happy to have your child get the discipline and education here. She needs to become a tremendous martial artist. It is not like your typical Taekwondo toilets, as I call them nowadays, where kids are doing ridiculous bullshit. Essentially, it is karate dance, and they are, you know, in a real world environment because getting their ass kicked. And that doesn’t work for me in 2019. Our kids, especially our daughters, need to protect themselves from the sickos that are out there. I am thoroughly happy knowing that by the time the time I was on her own age, you know a teenage girl what have you and she’ll

Be places on her own, that she will have a decade of knowledge instilled upon her from Mr. babble and his wonderful team of instructors to beat the living shit out of absolutely anything that crosses her path. And since she’s a big girl, it’s not going to be fun for anybody who wants to get in her way. I truly feel sorry for whoever her first boyfriend is down the road. Because one of these boys is going to end up with a broken jaw one day, and well you know, what are you going to do? That’s life, right? That’s, that’s how it works. Don’t make women angry and you’ll be safe in life. You don’t have to worry about Daddy, you’ll have to worry about the little killing machine that we’re that we’re raising. But that’s one of many summertime fun activities. So we’ll be ice skating at the town Park. They’ve got a beautiful indoor ice skating rink and what a great way to beat the heat and she’s got one of her best friends going with her down to that so they’re going to be having an amazing time every week. We’re going to be going to Hershey and go on a vacation out there for a week and doing all that idea. The beautiful

Hershey hotel so we don’t have to drive or lift a finger once we arrive, which is always nice. And one thing I’m learning as I get older, sometimes you go to these off the beaten path places because you might save a couple bucks. Or you might like that it’s it’s not around everything if you’re me, I hate being around tons and tons of people. So if we can be three miles to the left, I’m always cool that no matter what it is, I’m happy to pay more to be further away from folks. But the inconvenience of it does become a bit of a pain in the ass. So to go to a hotel that has the buses and and all the amenities that make your life just effortless. It’s kind of cool. I mean, it’s I’m coming around to it you know by my buddy Dante tells me all the time he’s like, you just got to stay at the hotel Steve. You got to stay at the fucking Hershey hotel with me guy. And you know he’s right. He’s absolutely right. And we’re going to be that with him this summer so will be that will be hanging out. I should do a podcast with him. That would be fucking hilarious because he is just as off the charts as I

So it would be amazing. Yeah. So this podcast I am doing 100% solely because of you, Jeff with the good voice. So for all of you that don’t know, one of my best friends that I grew up with, in Oceanside as a kid, his name is Jeff remedy. And you can go to his website at Jeff remedy com. He first let’s paint a picture. You know, he worked in the printing industry for a while how he delivered newspapers when we were a kid. You know, we could talk about some great stories like the lady, but we don’t have to do that today. We could talk about the tip lady another time. Or maybe Jeff, you can come on to the show one day and talk about the tit lady yourself. Or the day that we smashed a burning bag of poop on her front lawn. On the stoop. There are the pools that we jumped into that people weren’t home when they were on vacation, or all the other wonderfully horrible things we did as children of the 80s that by today’s standards with absolutely get us arrested, but

Back then they would just say I You stupid kids, and shake their fists at the sky and and just accept that kids were kids and we weren’t criminals. We weren’t. I mean, granted, you could call it criminal trespassing, but nobody was damaging or stealing or doing any of those kind of things. We would mostly just go into people’s backyards and hang out or go in the woods or the creeks or what have you. But yeah, so. So it started way back when when he was delivering papers as a young boy on his bicycle. And then it transpired to him working at a print factory in town for somebody who ended up being his next door neighbor at one point. I don’t remember if that’s how the job started. Even I worked at the print factory there for a little bit. I think I did a summer I don’t remember what it was. I didn’t last long. Jeff definitely outlasted me. And then he, he had some other jobs. He had some it jobs and then he ended up moving to Florida, in the St. Augustine region, where he had taken up a good position with wounded warriors, which we all know is the absolutely awesome charity that is helping

The the wonderful men and women that are service people to our country that protect our freedoms, and come back needing help. And he helps them by, you know, doing all this smoothness of the IT world there. So there’s a lot of technology involved in this. Whether it’s setting up events, whether it’s just the office itself and making the whole machine run, I mean, how look at this day and age, if you don’t have the technology straight in 2019 your business ain’t doing a goddamn thing. So he is helping that run and be smooth and, and just be great. And, you know, the bottom line is this. If you look back 3040 years ago, we were making prank calls to our Felton Hoff which only Jeff will know the name of this guy. He was his ball dad across the street from my parents house. And whenever my parents would go out to dinner or go to a movie, Jeff would come over and we’d just go through the phone book old school style like the jerky boys, and we’d prank call people and we would not stop. We just we were assholes. We would just pray.

Every every stupid name in the phone book got a call from us at some point to the point that I believe I kept the phone book that we had marked up with the ones that we had called. So one day we’re calling out belting off up, and we’re prank calling and we’re calling him a bald fuck and we’re laughing in the phone. And he knows he sees no car in the driveway across the street but the lights are on. He comes banging on the door. He’s banging on my parents front door, you fucking kids. What are you doing yo stupid kids. Just like a Twisted Sister video right when the principal’s yelling and screaming and banging his fist on the wall. Pretty much I was doing the same thing and don’t get me wrong. I was a good guy. He had a bunch of kids that were older than us in the neighborhood. I didn’t know his kids. I don’t even remember his kids or any of the names. I do remember one actually mark it was an oldest son mark and he carried me one time right around the block past Jeff’s house into Ryan’s house. And it carried me there and a blizzard one time and that was badass. That and but he was like a decade older and you know he was the guy with like the mullet and the muscle car in the street. When

We were just little kids riding a bike so I don’t really remember him other than that one epic act that he had done for me that time. That’s all I know about Mark Felton house. He could be a murderer right now, and my only memory would still be that of the NIce dude that took me to Ryan so you know, it is what it is. So we prank prank and prank and I was banging on the door. You fucking cares. What are you going? you sons of bitches. I know you’re in there. And then I don’t know if it was Jeff or if it was me. I don’t remember. You know, I would need you Jeff to come on and kind of say your side is but somebody said there’s nobody home you’re bald fuck. And

he has lost his shit, man. We never opened the door. We sat behind the door, cackling a laughter and half halfway probably scared shiftless of that we’re going to get in big trouble.

I remember getting yelled at the next day by my dad. He was pissed off. He was like, What are you doing Brian calling people and I was like, yeah, you know, hey, we could be doing worse things.

And I guess he kind of agree. I mean, I don’t remember getting in any trouble for that. I don’t know if it ended up going back to Jeff’s house and his parents, we could ask his his mom and dad, they’re still around kicking it down in Florida with him. So we can maybe bring Sandy and Larry on the podcast with us cap. That would be amazing. They could talk about how What an asshole I was a kid, and how my parents blamed you for everything and yours, blame me. So you know, we always got blamed for everything together, which was amazing. That’s what friendship is when you’re a kid, right? It’s, you take the heat for one another, and you just have some fun. In today’s day and age. Yeah, gosh, we’d have probably seen so many psychologists. It wouldn’t have even been funny. It would have been absolutely absurd. The amount of trouble we would have been in by by the 2019 standard of like my daughter’s Elementary School. Holy shit. I mean,

yeah, it would have been crazy. So let’s keep going. Alright, so so at the end of this rainbow, and I’ll stop about you, Jeff. So you don’t feel like I’m sitting here jerking you off on the podcast for five minutes, which you know

I’m happy to do. So we come full circle, years of prank calls, being silly kids doing what we do, making voices being goofy, loving the jerky boys, if everybody remembers them from when you were a kid that you know being New York kids, and that was a New York thing. We love that we took on to that like nobody’s business. So now you got Jeff remedy.com. And that is Jeff with the good voice. And he is doing voice acting now and he’s absolutely slaying it man. He is got a beautiful reel on his website. He has got demo tapes, he’s got projects he’s already working on that he can’t even tell me about which frustrates me to no end. So that means it’s something you signed a contract with an NDA on which makes me super happy because that means it’s actually good, right? Because that’s always the deal if it’s something that just whatever nobody cares and you can just tell everybody I’m working on such and such project is a desperate for the marketing, the fact that he can’t tell anybody, even his friends that

He knows would never say a goddamn thing. That’s pretty awesome. So we’ll see what comes from that and what the future holds. But, you know, check out his voice acting, and maybe just maybe he will grace his presence here one day with I. Or maybe I will go to his podcast that beauty and the beast mode that he’s in the middle of revamping because it went from a two man show to a one or which I’ve said in the past, maybe Jeff.

We joined forces and create the most epic podcast of all time. Jeff in Steve take over the internet, or Stephen Jeff take over the internet or whatever the hell you want to call it. I don’t care. I have no ego in it. I’m so goddamn loud. It doesn’t make a difference. Either of our names is between the two of us man. I think that we would have absolute fire and we wouldn’t be solo printers here both doing our own thing. But we can be like a wonderful tag team.

Like when you injector attacked me on the front lawn of my house and and like the earthquake and typhoon sandwich to me and threw me into the bushes like garbage, or like the day when you came was it you were tired I remember when you came crashing through the screen door, the plastic screen door Plexiglas, whatever at my parents house to come attack me because I had called you fat or something horrible and you wanted to kick my ass because you were three times my size. You know, all good. And we got a million stories that can be hilarious for people that I think they’d have a good time enjoying, but I would probably never share them in depth alone because it would be boring. You know, it’s just me recounting things that I’m not 100% of part of maybe I’m half of the part you know when it’s when it’s stories like the I have diarrhea guy and oh my word folks if if I didn’t tell you that Yeah, I did an entire as you all know, I did an entire podcast about the person that told me

had diarrhea. And I truly, truly, truly thought I would never ever, ever, as Chris Jericho says, experienced this in my life again. But I did two weeks ago while working one of the clients, I’ll never name him because he’s a wonderful man and I just wouldn’t want to put anybody out there by name because that’s just not appropriate, not for work. And one of the people I work with that was coaching, and he he didn’t say it,

but he killed the just it was there, man it was, gosh, how do I describe this? He said it without saying it.

That’s the best way to put it. He said it without uttering the exact words. I have diarrhea, I must go. He had diarrhea and he had to go. So we had a phone call that was scheduled weeks in advance and he was there.

And, you know, he had told me how he hadn’t done his side of things since our last call because he had been sick. So that happens. Listen life, man, shit happens to all of us. You know, people get sick people’s houses flood and we had a client whose house flooded so he had to move, you know, to a temporary location. So you know, he push a call things happen, man, that’s life. That’s work. But he didn’t have anything done. So we were kind of in an impasse anyway. And he’s like, he’s like, I have to go right now. It’s, uh, yeah, I need to leave by. We’ll reschedule and he was gone. So it didn’t sound like he was getting gagging and vomiting. So I’m getting guests it was from the other end. I can’t confirm or deny 100% accuracy of this tale since I wasn’t there with the gentleman in question. But just from being on the other side of it before. I have that uncanny experience of people telling me they, Maria, and that’s a skill I wish they had on LinkedIn that I could get people to click on that

area whisperer. That would be frickin amazing but yeah so so it happened again folks and that’s it it’s not going to be a whole story it’s not going to be anything we’re still here talking about summertime fun and and things to do this summer. So yeah what else we’re going to do this summer it’s going to keep rocking and rolling so we’re we’re also you know my my main kid he goes to speech therapy to help as you know I have a speech impediment I’ve had one my entire life I went until in third grade when they stopped and my daughter has been going and it’s not bad she just sometimes it sounds a little bit like a baby voice that’s all but she’s her listen to it. We tested her IQ recently the school did with a full battery test as as they do. And her scoring was phenomenal we were beyond excited the market to say numbers because I’m not about that. But we were just very happy for how well she did so we know that she’s of sound mind and that it’s just a matter of connecting some of the dots and you know, crossing T’s and dotting i’s and all that to to get some of the sounds

Accurate for whatever reason they they never came out right from the start. So we’re kind of retro fixing this. And we’ll be going to speech therapy all summer, right by my wife’s employment so we’ll be able to visit her once a week at work, which will be nice. And then from there, we’re going to be going to the Guitar Center, where she’s beginning her guitar lessons. She has a electric green Jackson, Flying V Randy Rhoads edition three quarter scale guitar. That is just the most bitchin guitar you’ve ever seen for a seven year old. And he’s going to show up to her first lesson, as she said in her own words, in her Iron Maiden t shirt, asking the instructor to teach her how to rock. So, yeah, we’ll wait and see how that works out people. I mean, if, if her dedication is anything like it is to when she practices her dance moves for dance, or her karate or anything else that she’s into

Well, maybe we’ll have a concert one of these days or maybe I’ll have her make my intro since I never actually made an official intro of any kind, you know, maybe I will make an intro or if there’s a new show with somebody that I may know from the past president future, Mr. For

then maybe she will make an intro for that down the road who knows anything’s possible in this world. So yeah, you know, that’s, that’s it, man. I mean, other than that, it’s just going to be Campsie. We’re going to go to the beach sometimes chill out of the boardwalk. She likes to get ISIS or ice creams from the girls to push the carts around. She likes to be able to just walk the boardwalk in and grab an ice cream and just look at the ocean and chill out for a little bit. She’s got some she’s got a book she’s working on. She came up with something called secret agent cats. So yeah, I own that domain now so don’t bother trying to domain harvest me your sons of bitches. I already got it. So she’s gonna you know, be able to

To make her her literary dreams come true being a I don’t know what this kid sounds like a karate karate rock guitar book author, veterinarian vegetarian at this point. So yeah, that’s that’s the one other thing. So we’ll talk about this and this is what I’ll end up with. So, leading into summertime fun month ago, they’re raising quail, baby quail eggs and an incubator in the first grade classroom. And Hang on, I gotta take a drink here because I’ve been sick all last weekend. And I’m dying right now. So let me I’m not going to pause. I’m just going to take a sip here.

Oh, that’s just what the doctor ordered. All right, I’m better. So they have quail eggs growing into the little tiny baby quail.

And to pop they get to the hatch, beautiful, awesome, cute little baby cow. And then the teacher tells the classroom

Kids, guess what? People eat quail and they’re delicious. I don’t know if that’s the exact words I wasn’t in the room. But I do know that my daughter and one of her best friends looked at each other for as I was told many many times exactly quote for exactly three seconds daddy and then they declared vegetarianism together. Now the other little girl is completely crashed and burned that had hotdogs and kicking this weekend for her father that I you know, we talked to in text, whatever so, you know, he told me that as you know, so that didn’t last year, the meatball hero with Alyssa last week in school, so her vegetarian is up and then fly is as high as you thought it would. Alyssa is, on the other hand has been rock solid. We are one month in now just about maybe a couple days short of a month. And she asked me to join her. And the first couple of days I just kept doing my thing. And then a couple you know, three days later, four days later, I was because you know, she kept asking me and I was like you know what, man? It ain’t gonna kill me.

right there’s a whole lot of other things that will kill me before eating vegetables. So yeah, I did it I’m all in. So you know just like a ew I’m all in and yeah I’m I’m doing it with her now. I made hummus yesterday posting comments pictures on Facebook This is what my life has become. Jesus Christ fucking cute me now. But yeah, so we were all doing it My wife is almost doing it she’s going pesky Attarian so that means that you can still eat fish. So her dreams of shrimp and lobster and crabs and whatnot are are still going strong. She’ll be eating all that. But myself and Alyssa we are only eating vegetarian now which has been interesting, not only for her school lunches, because it means we got to think outside the box. But I for me not to become a fat fuck by eating carbs all day. So one of the things he noticed or at least I’ve noticed over the years, is when most of my friends and people I know and just people I see any internet or whatever

Talking about being vegetarians. They usually you know pretty sloppy looking I mean let’s call a spade a spade that not all you know pro wrestler looking like Daniel Bryan who’s hitting the gym for six hours a day and you know promoting being a vegetarian you know that’s that’s not the the usual of what you see typically you see like our buddy Ryan who has been a vegetarian for 25 years and you know, I think it just means that he eats a lot of pasta you know, and if you get a pasta belly after a while too much carbs it’s it’s a carb loaded diet for way too many people missing out on vegetarian doesn’t mean anti meat Eat shit. It means eat a plant based diet. So I switched my morning protein shake to a plant based one which was no big deal. And it’s a little less protein than the old one But yeah, I could just add an extra scoop and ain’t gonna kill anybody. Just made with P isolate proteins and whatnot. Very little soy. Know Another thing is that

Not to eat a ton of soy it’s not as good for us people think at least I don’t believe it is. So I keep away from the soy, you know, a little tofu here and there’s all right. But to eat soy and everything that doesn’t work for me, you know, carb bonds are beans, avocados. artichokes is so many other good fresh vegetables and things that you can incorporate. And we’ve been eating things like making them at home on the griddle like Cassidy is

nice pastas that have that have more bite to it. We did like make fun noodles with tofu, and lots of different things. So at least we’re not, you know, eating just like sludge every day, which is what I know what I pictured from the very beginning was oh my god, I’m going to do this with her. And I’m just going to eat like a bowl of porridge from Oliver every day. May I please have more? I don’t want to do that man. I’d rather just I’d rather just not do it then. And I’m not gonna lie there. So you know I had somebody said to me the other day well, you can just go in and go and eat a burger for lunch when she’s in school or something.

Yeah man, I could would only take a couple minutes I could just go down the block and go to smash burger or go to Nathan’s or go to whatever burger fi you know so many great burger joints out there but if I did that what does that tell my kid if she ever found out you know that daddy told you that he was going to do something with you then he just straight up fucking lied to you and did what was best for him anyway. That’s not me. You know I my integrity is too strong for that. So I give him my word. My Word is my bond so it’s that’s something I do with him my personal life that’s what my work life that’s what everything I do. I mean, I’m, you know, I’m very transparent to a fault probably probably scares people off that could potentially be friends. But you know, if they’re if they’re too scared, well, then so be it. But I don’t hide the way I think about things. I don’t think that’s fair. That’s why you had those ghetto monkey episodes because you know, you had to know exactly what I thought about my neighbors.

As far as they’re concerned, who cares? Let them have their summer away from me. That’s all that matters. I haven’t spoken to them since the wife some of the events for the school that I do. I don’t care treated like everybody else. Hell, I held the door for her one day because that’s what a true man does. You know, ladies there you hold the door. I don’t care how much I can’t stand somebody. Because I think they’re stupid. I’m just not going to take away from my own integrity to try to create drama or problems. So I held the door. I think she said thank you. I didn’t I wasn’t paying attention or listening anyway, didn’t care. Just held it because that’s the right thing to do and went about my day, zero interactions with them and there will be zero interactions moving forward and forevermore. I see no reason to ever interact with them. And yeah, so if you’re wondering for an update there, there you go. That’s a great transition from vegetarianism to monkey ism.

So, that’s really it, man. Well, listen, I’ve been going way, way longer. I thought this was going to be five or 10 minutes because I felt like I had no material. I had nothing written down. But yeah, so here we are 26 2026 minutes later. And and that’s that. So like always listen, here’s what you could do, you could go check out the website, unhinged pod calm. All the old episodes are up there, this episode will be up there, you know, sometime in the next day or so it’s busy couple of days with the last days of school coming. So I’m going to try to get this podcast up in the next half hour onto the old internet. So it’ll be up there. It’s 1005 now so hopefully by 11 or so I’ll have this up for you guys to listen to. And that’ll be up. You can follow me online and I am Lichtman.com everywhere on the internet. That’s where I am Instagram, Facebook, or

what have you Twitter, which I honestly I don’t really use. I like Instagram. I like posting pictures when I have time and I like commenting on them. So if you if you want to DM me or bullshit that’s probably the best place to get me anyway. Or you can email me through the website that’s that, you know, you can always send me a message to there and I get that. So yeah, that’s it folks. I’ve got nothing else. I’ve

Then go to my buddies website Jeff with a good voice at Jeff remix.com so do me a favor go there everybody every single one of you that listen to this please just go there for even for one minute low two or three pages, get his websites some hits so that way Google’s algorithms will see it and they will help rank it and get it where it needs to be. That’s People Power man we got it so what we do for each other right we help each other out we help people see things and start things in their life. So I’m going to do an advertisement every single podcast for the foreseeable future until the son of a bitch either comes on mine or I go on his or like what I would ideally like to shut this one down. You know, even if it’s not forever Even if it’s just something temporary that we pause this he pauses his and then just like the like the Wonder Twins, we connect our rings him – we create a super podcast of two wild and crazy guys.

All right folks have a happy today and a wonderful tomorrow. As my buddy Ryan says Love & lizards baby love and lizards.

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